Best Sleepover Ever
by Ssammoh
Summary: Haymitch turns gay and retarded from drinking too much alchohol. When he sees that a sleepover is going on, he decides to join. Things happen. One-shot. Slight AU. Rated M for a REASON! And just a little femslash, because I couldn't resist. :


Katniss, Effie, Peeta and Haymitch...oh wait, Haymitch actually wasn't at the table at the moment. But the rest of them were eating dinner. "Oh you look simply mah-velous, dahling." They heard, coming from another room near the one they were in.

It was Haymitch. "Oh my god." Katniss said. "What the hell is Haymitch doing?" She asked.

Effie shrugged and said "You'll find out soon enough. He does this every year but I'm not sure why. Isn't that silly?" She asked, before laughing a little bit.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Like, is he retarded or something?" Peeta asked. "Probably" Katniss said. Minutes later, they were done with their meal.

Haymitch was in the bathroom playing with the make-up. He put on his mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick. Then he slipped on a pretty dress. After walking to the table he quickly grabbed two oranges and put them in his bra. Katniss looked around and saw him dancing like a balerina.

"I'm a pretty pretty princess!" He sang happily, smiling at everyone. Peeta was scared. He ate a few more bites and said nervously "Uh, I'm going to bed early tonight."

Before getting up and going to his room. Katniss was confused, and Effie was laughing as she took out her camera. "Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty pretty pretty little princess with her cute little dress and her cute little shoes!" He said cheerily, Tapping the toes of his high heels together before skipping around, feeling on top of the world.

"What the fuck!" Katniss exclaimed. Effie continued laughing as she said "Shh, Katniss don't say swear words so loud in the video. This is going on one of the social networks I'm signed on to and the children back home might watch it."

Effie smiled at her and Katniss rolled her eyes again. Haymitch opened the door and left the room, skipping down the hall. Then he got a wild idea. Across the hall he saw Clove walk into someone else's room carrying a sleeping bag and looking like she was looking forward to something. "Ooh, sleepover!" He exclaimed.

Clove looked at him like one would look at their enemy after finding out they are now officially labeled as retarded by the whole school. Then she went into the room as quickly as she could and shut the door. In that moment, Haymitch realized he forgot his sleeping bag. A girl can _not_ go a sleepover without one, right? Actually it wasn't a big deal.

When he was a kid back in he 2010s, he always had sleepovers with his friends who were all boys btw. They just all slept in the same bed, cuddling. He heard her talking to somebody else in the room. "Oh my god, you should have seen Haymitch. I can't believe what I just saw.

He was wearing a long red sparkly dress and high heels. "They think I look beautiful in my outfit!" He thought to himself, running over to the door and knocking on it. Clove opened it and he ran in. He started jumping up and down on Cato's bed.

He saw that Clove, Cato and Glimmer were having a sleepover. "O-M-G This is going to be the best sleepover ever like seriously!" He exclaimed. "Why did you invite _him_?" Glimmer asked.

Clove said she didn't. Haymitch, however, had something else in mind. "Well I just came over here because I saw that you two ladies were having a sleepover and I wanted to make it super cool! We could paint eachother's nails, watching movies, play spin the bottle...

Like seriously, OMG." Haymitch pulled a bottle out of nowhere and kept it straight up. They all looked at him like he was retarded because, DUH, he was! "Uh, your actually supposed to put it the other way." Cato told him, making the "are you fucking kidding me" face you see in rage comics.

"Oh I know but when I was a kid back in the 2010s me and my friends who were all boys by the way closed our eyes and put our hands on the top of the bottle. Whoever got their hand on top had to spin first. Not so sure why it changed, because it was good the way it was before. Kids these days, sheesh!" They wouldn't have put up with any of this crap or agreed to any of his ideas if Haymitch wasn't an adult.

But he is, so they did. Clove ended up getting the first spin and it landed betwen Glimmer and Cato. "So if it's between two people then how does it go?" She asked. Haymitch smiled and said

"Well when I was a kid back in the 2010s and me and my friends who are all boys by the way played and this happened they took turns. But don't take too long because I want my turn! L-O-L." Clove made the okay face you see in rage comics and kissed Cato on the cheek. Well that was awkward.

Then she leaned closer to Glimmer and kissed her but niether of them pulled away from eachother. "Um okay guys it's my turn now." Haymitch said. They didn't notice what he said. "Um it's my turn."

Then he got really impatient a few seconds later when the kissing became a little more passionate. "GEEZ GUYS YOUR IN THE HUNGER GAMES NOT THE LESBIAN GAMES! IF YOU DONT LET ME HAVE MY TURN I SWEAR IM GOING TO WALK AROUND IN MY PANTIES!" Okay, they heard that. And the last thing anybody needs to see is Haymitch in his panties so they pulled way from eachother as fast as they could and made the okay face you see in rage comics.

"Dude, keep your clothes on man. Nobody wants to see that." Cato told him. So Haymitch made the okay face you see in rage comics just like the ladies. He spinned the bottle eagerly only to find that it landed on...

...himself! "Aww man, I guess this means I'll have to kiss the mirror. Well thats okay because I'm really sexy!" He said, walking to the bathroom. So when he was in there masturbating the careers put a table in front of the door.

Several minutes later they heard Haymitch banging on the door. "Okay guys seriously this isn't funny. LOL. So get me out or I swear I'm going to show myself in my panties on the tv. I have a webcam in here you know!"

Cato went over to the door to unlock it but he saw Clove and Glimmer standing in front of the door. "Trust us you do _not_ want him to come out of the bathroom. Lets just put something over the tv." Clove whispered. And, omg, it was a genius idea!

Like, totally! So what they did was take Clove's sleeping bag and put it over the tv. Except the thing here is that you can actually watch a show anywhere on the wall, not just the tv part. Like OMG, crazy, right? The kids all ran under the covers when they saw Haymitch start to take his clothes off.

"OMG guys you are like the biggest party poopers in the history of party poopers. Like OMG lol." They heard him say, but just ignored him. And it was the best sleepover of all time. End of story.


End file.
